John Candy's 2018 Olympics

The Majority Villain Podcast

The 2018 Winter Olympics are over. Now, The Majority Villain Podcast presents to you the villain’s review: our version of events, validating various vignettes of valor - the victor’s view from the vertex. Vamoose vagabonds! Vanish you valley voyagers vibrant only in vanilla vagary! Vended and verified be the vanquisher.

Today’s music brought to you by Napoleon Bonaparte.

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The Nigerian Women's bobsled team becomes the first ever African bobsled team to qualify for the winter Olympics.

This of course revitalized once again the conversation that predominantly black nations from warmer regions can in fact have bobsled teams. Jamaican Bobsled documentarian John Candy explains:

(Audio: John Candy, Cool Runnings)

Nigeria is one of only 8 participating African countries in the 2018 Winter Olympics. The team is comprised of Seun Adigun, Ngozi Onwumere and Akuoma Omeoga. The Houston based women are trained track and field athletes. Adigun competed in the 2012 Summer Olympics in the 100-meter hurdles and Onwumere competed in the All-African Games.

Despite previous successes, when Lagos-based writer Emmanuel Dairo spoke with Nigerian freelance reporter Linus Unah, Dairo said of the team,

"Very few even know there is a winter games going on, and even fewer care.”

Nevertheless, it was Seun Adigun who launched a GoFundMe page in 2016 to help raise money for their trip to the games, and after raising $150,000 she helped to establish the Bobsled & Skeleton Federation of Nigeria. The team eventually competed with a slew of sponsors as part of team Visa. Even if winning wasn’t in the cards… perhaps it wasn’t the point…"Our objective (now) is to be the best representation of Africa that the Winter Olympics have ever witnessed,” Adigun said.

North and South Korea competed as a United Korea this year in hockey, despite being technically still at war! This was the first time some of the South Koreans have met North Koreans. North Korea brought more than 180 cheerleaders (a reminder of how weird shit is over there), and were accompanied during all events by minders that sat with them, disputing any semblance to freedom there might have been. The cheerleaders acted as a stark reminder to how far the two countries have grown apart, including mixed reactions from the women at a moment when a Kim Jong Un impersonator walked in front of them. Awkward shiiiiii…

(Audio, John Candy)

For more on North Korea peruse the Majority Villain podcasts on the device you’re already using. (That means subscribing to the show!) I recommend the January episode, “North Korea Could Be Anywhere”.

Teen Olympian snowboarder, Red Gerard, overslept and then won gold in slopestyle after late night binging on Netflix in which Gerard stated that he was watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine - which appears to be available only on overseas Netflix - so it’s pretty understandable, Red. Get it while you can. We dig it.  After being woken up by his roommate, Gerard realized soon that he couldn't find his coat and ended up taking his roommate's which was too big. As his family spent the morning shotgunning South Korean beer, the clearly overwhelmed 17 year old clinched gold, cursing on television,

"What the fuck? Hoooly shit".

In related news, Gerard has promised his Olympic roommate either one of his kidneys whenever it is needed.

(Audio, John Candy)

The United States National Hockey League did not participate these Olympic games. The decision was announced on April 4th of 2017, stating they would not be allowing their players to participate in the 2018 Winter Olympic Games, because the games take place directly in the middle of the NHL's regular season, causing issues with tickets and other operations. Another factor was injuries. With athletes going to the Olympics, injuries are always a fear that players may miss out on regular season games. Likewise, there are financial losses that NHL teams would have in their existing contracts, like setbacks on regular league play. The International Olympic Committee doesn't actually have a partnership with the NHL. This would mean that the NHL and all teams with participating players would be footing the bill to provide insurance for players as well as travel and lodging costs. All in all, the NHL saw no upside to allowing players to compete.

(Shuffling papers) Aaaand in other news the US women’s hockey team won gold in a dramatic shootout against Canada.

John Candy was born in Newmarket, Ontario. John Candy’s middle name was Franklin.
Russia’s only gold medal of the 2018 Olympics will be brought home by figure skater Alina Vagitova as more Olympic Athletes from Russia or OAR athletes test positive during doping tests. Because of Russia’s previous doping scandals, the country was officially uninvited from the games, though an invitation to those athletes came under the vague white Olympic flag of OAR. The Russian national anthem was not played for the 15 year old, who said of the moment,

“In our souls, we know.”

John Candy graduated from Neil McNeil High School in Toronto.

You’ve been listening to the Majority Villain podcast. I’m Gregory Haddock. Today’s show was written by Ethan Braine and myself. To redeem your villain points for this episode be sure to visit the website at and on Facebook and Twitter @majorityvillain. On a side note - Big suprirse, this show is satirical… a HUGE congratulations to the US Women’s Hockey Team on their gold medal. Thanks for the showing the NHL what a bunch of wieners they are. You guys are badass.

Wanna get a gold medal of your own? Go to Apple Podcasts. (But, uh, maybe… I, uh, later I can, uh….) No, no, no - I insist at…\ go there and leave a review for Majority Villain. A five star review is single-handedly the most helpful action you can take to support the work we are doing. Gold medal sold separately.

Status Quos Are For Suckers.

John Candy was 6’2”.

Sources and Further Reading

North/South Korea

Red Gerard Oversleeping

NHL Not Participating

Nigerian Women's Bobsled Team